Why am I still alone?

Australian statistics show a steady decline in registered marriages per capita since 1942. More than one in four (26%) households are now occupied by one person – an increase from 24% in 2016. Even on TikTok, hundreds of thousands of posts are tagged #celibacy, with hundreds of thousands of likes and shares.
Is singleness a problem?

To answer this question, we asked Dani Treweek, the author of the Christian book of the year 2024 The Meaning of Singleness to talk about singleness, loneliness and society.

She gave us a lot to think about, including the following:

The nuclear family doesn't need to be the centre of the community
We might think of a household as two parents and their children, but historically, households included servants, labourers, aunts and grandparents. Our individualistic culture can make us feel we don’t belong unless we are part of a romantic relationship and have kids. But single people belong in communities even if they haven’t found a partner, or they’re no longer married for some reason or other,

The pressure to centre your life around a partner can make you feel lonely
Some single people might feel they are missing out if they don’t have a romantic partner - but many couples feel the pressure to find their soul mate -which is a lot of pressure. Dani thinks it's important to continue to build rich relationships with people at work or interest groups even if we are married - this also helps include single people in our lives.

Our society thinks you need to have sex to be fulfilled
Christians believe in abstinence outside of marriage, but our society sometimes sees this as denying ourselves and worries that we can’t be fully ourselves without it. Jesus, who never married - thought the most important thing to do was to love his friends so deeply that he laid down his life for them
John 15:13 says
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends”

So singleness is a growing social trend, but even if we don’t find “the one” we can make our lives richer through deep friendships with people in our lives as Jesus did.

To hear more from Dani Treweek about singleness and meaning listen to the Deeper Questions podcast episode, HERE.

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