You Hurt My Feelings

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 1/2 (out of 5)

Every season of life brings its own challenges, and the later stages of midlife have unique challenges that creep up on people quickly without much warning. Children have grown, careers are moving into their twilight, and grey hairs are taking over for the original colour you saw in the mirror most mornings. Writer/director Nicole Holofcener (Enough Said) taps into the tension of those who discover that they have arrived at this critical point in life.

Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) has just completed her second novel. The author is struck with insecurities about how it will be received. She’s married to Don (Tobias Menzies), a psychiatrist struggling to determine if he is impacting his patients. Their son, Elliott (Owen Teague), is the manager of a marijuana shop and is trying to decide what to do with his life and relationship with his girlfriend. Each has moved into a different stage of their existence and does their best to remain connected as they move through their days in Manhattan. Despite the day-to-day difficulties, Beth and Don have a secure marriage built on trust and continue to enjoy every aspect of their lives together. Yet, one day, things begin to unravel when the novelist overhears her husband telling a friend that he doesn’t really like his wife’s writing.

Reminiscent of a tightly wound script from Woody Allen without the constant sexual innuendo, Nicole Holofcener proves her ability to develop characters, situations, and dialogue that make the mundane compelling. All of the players in this production have a richness and depth that exposes the comedy and the drama that encapsulate the realities of life. Each scene is choreographed beautifully within a few city blocks, and the actors are allowed to work with the verbal sparring and physical tensions provided within the screenplay. Dreyfus and Menzies are perfectly cast and balance each other’s characters with the precision of master craftsmen. They are complemented by the work of Michaela Watkins and Arian Moayed as the faithfully dysfunctional in-laws. Yet, the stand-out performance comes from veteran actress, Jeannie Berlin, who steals every scene she is given as the put-upon matriarch of the family.

If there is anything that undermines this exceptionally well-written film, it would have to be how it sits so close to real life. For those looking for an escape from the real world and all it holds, Holofcener’s theatrical characters draw the audience back into the realm outside the cinema. There are moments of laughter and emotion that envelop the viewer. Still, as the story moves closer to real life, there is less to savour in the experience. Not that the movie is not engaging, but it may leave audiences questioning their existence instead of feeling the euphoria that entertainment is meant to offer. You Hurt My Feelings has the feel of watching a well-developed home movie that will have people laughing and crying at times. Yet, the problems and situations will make them wonder what they are doing with their lives.

REEL DIALOGUE: What do we do when life seems to be fading away?

Some of the problems experienced by Beth and Don may seem small in light of the big picture. Yet, this film shows how we can be distracted from impacting others by small and significant changes in life. Careers, family, and community issues sometimes seem out of our control. Companies fail, people make bad choices, and sometimes circumstances cannot be avoided. When people and organisations fail us, can God help us during these times?

The Bible offers the answers to these questions, not with the elimination of difficulty and strife but with the peace and solace that comes through a relationship with God. The Psalms, Proverbs, and Romans may be a good place for people to begin finding answers. Then take some time to reach out to friends and family who might be able to help explore this journey into God’s response to life's challenges.

If you would like to discuss the Bible further. Reach out to us at Third Space. We would love to chat with you about this and more.